Discernment is something we often ponder, especially as young adults. Most of the time questions about discernment come up when we are thinking about the future and our vocation.

I met Maggie Mendoza in 2023 when I moved to Portales, NM. She had been a youth group leader for many years. I learned that Maggie is very strong in her Catholic faith and had discerned the religious life for many years. However, she was ultimately called the vocation of marriage and motherhood. Because I too, am discerning the religious life, I was grateful for the opportunity to interview Maggie about her discernment process.

I began by asking: “What originally made you choose to discern the religious vocation?” Maggie responded, “I feel like I’ve always sort of felt a call to religious life. I remember my first Steubenville (conference) and how at the end they ask if you are feeling called to the religious vocation. That was kind of the first time I had really thought about it, and I was like, that sort of sounds right up my alley”. Maggie went on to say that even though she had felt this call, it was not something that she felt she was called to act on right away, but more something that God had just placed on her heart.

My second question was: “What was the process like in discerning this vocation?” Maggie thought about this question for a moment and then replied, “Okay, so for a long time I just prayed about it and would continue to revisit it.” She added that although she had been praying about this vocation for quite some time it wasn’t until about the last year of college that she decided she should put more action to her discernment. She explained that she and a couple of friends went on a “come and see” retreat at the cloistered convent of The Disciples of Our Lord Jesus Christ in Amarillo. She explained how this was a beautiful experience that really impacted her. Maggie said, “After that retreat I still felt sort of called to religious life but the biggest thing for me was giving up my family. It wasn’t necessarily that I want my own family, but it was like, I don’t want to leave the family I have.” With this in mind, Maggie continued to pray about her vocation.

This led into my third question: “What did you do to help with your discernment?” Maggie replied, “A lot of prayer. And I had a really good group of friends. Like, a lot of girlfriends, in particular. I feel like that is invaluable. I feel like discerning religious life is so foreign to most of the world and it can feel super isolating so having a good group of Catholic friends that support you and are encouraging, even when it’s hard, or sad, or strange, is really helpful.”

My next question was: “What made you feel called to the vocation of marriage and motherhood?” Maggie explained that she had always felt a call to marriage and motherhood as well as the religious life, but it wasn’t until she went back to that convent on a silent retreat that she felt God leading her to her vocation. Maggie said “I think part of my hang up with the discernment process was that I was trying to figure it all out now, and it was causing me to not take any steps forward and I just don’t why I was expecting God to give it to me all at once and make it, like, super clear before I made any sort of decision.” And in that moment Maggie felt like God was telling her “just do the next thing I put in front of you”. She added, “I felt like God was saying, “okay, you’ve explored religious life for years. You’ve been on that path for years and no doors have opened, but Jose (her now husband) just told you he has feelings for you. Take that step.” I didn’t have a ton of clarity, but I had enough. This new door had opened and God was telling me to walk through it.”

This led me to my next question: “What have you learned about discerning and the discernment process?” She replied, “I think what I learned most about discerning is that it’s more about the daily relationship in prayer than it is about some big decision.” She explained how when we talk about our vocation, we make it this monumental point in our life where we think God’s going to reveal our whole future, all planned out. However, discernment is something we should be doing on a daily basis. She added that we often put too much pressure on our vocation and discernment, which can make it feel scary or overwhelming. However, that this is not how it should be. Instead, we should ask these following questions everyday: “Am I following him today? What is he calling me to today? And how can I grow closer to him in the stage I am at?”

This led me to my final question: “Do you have additional advice for young women in discerning their vocation?” Maggie exclaimed, “Find a good group of friends!” She explained that to have a good group of friends we must realize that we are all broken and be able to be patient and forgiving with one another. We also must center these relationships around God and put in the effort to build them up. This brought our impactful interview to an end.

Maggie is truly inspiring, and I am so grateful to have had this opportunity to interview her. I have gained much insight, which is helpful to my own discernment process. The one thing that has stuck with me the most is to “just discern what God is calling us to each day.”